Why you should be making yourself a priority.
For years I put the needs and wants of others before my own, I became so consumed with making everything better for those around me that I forgot about myself and what I needed! Putting myself in a state of vulnerability that eventually led to depression.
The circumstances surrounding why I became sober in the first place is how I learned the importance of self-care and putting myself first. The relationship I was in at the time came to a screeching halt and I no longer had the role of caring for our family. I was so consumed about caring for them and making sure that they had everything they needed that I forgot about myself.
I wasn’t aware how severely unstable my emotional well being was and all the unresolved feelings I was holding onto. The one-year anniversary of our last miscarriage was fast approaching and I was sick of being ignored by the one person I made a priority. My suppressed emotions made me a ticking time bomb that was set off by alcohol and landed me in cuffs for the last time.
As a result of what happened that night, I spent two weeks in jail and a stipulation of my release was that I was not able to go back to the place I called home. This created a void in not only my heart but my daily living. At first, I didn’t know what to do with myself but eventually in my new found solitude I came up with new ways to fill my down time. I began practicing self-care by focusing on my mental, physical and spiritual well-being.
Self-care isn’t always something we think about. We have others that depend on us for their survival and we go through the motions on a daily basis that we forget about ourselves and before we know it days, weeks, and maybe even months have passed. This can put us into a state of exhaustion, making us more susceptible to outside forces.
When burnout sets in, we become frustrated, cranky and irritable and start looking to others to fulfill the needs we are lacking. This can contribute to low self-esteem or even depression because we feel our needs aren’t being met by those around us and we may have difficulties communicating exactly what those needs are.
This week On The Blog I share with you how important it is to carve out time for self-care and how I made it apart of my daily routine to prevent future burnout.
The importance of self-care and how to add it to your daily routine.
Self-care can often be perceived as being selfish, that if you take time for yourself you are choosing you over others and society says that is not okay; your children and significant other are your priority, it is your responsibility to make sure their needs are met. I couldn’t disagree more! There is a reason they tell us to put our oxygen masks on first, because if we don’t take care of ourselves, we are unable to care for others.
Do we have the responsibility of caring for our families and managing our household? Yes, but not at our own expense!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like I’ve lost myself in a relationship. Taking the time to practice self-care allowed me to connect with myself to know what I want, how I want to be treated and set boundaries. This heightened sense of self-awareness is what made it easier for me to identify when I was spreading myself too thin and make adjustments before I had another mental breakdown.
I want to note here that self-care is not binge watching a Netflix series and eating a tub of ice cream, it is an activity that will enhance your overall emotional and physical well-being.
After losing everything and having to start all over once again I no longer had confidence in myself. I was continuously making the same mistakes over and over again. I knew something had to change. I started seeing a counselor and attended CRU on a weekly basis, I attended personal development workshops and conferences and read as many self-help books I could.
Once I started focusing on myself and maintaining my sobriety I was able to rebuild that self-confidence that I lost. I stopped questioning everything and began trusting in myself to make the right decisions.
A year into my sobriety I lost my community of support that I relied heavily on, was released from probation—the one thing that was being held over my head that fueled my sobriety—and ended up slipping back into a deep depression. That is when I found The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod.
I’m sure you already have a morning routine for your household, but what if you started your day just a little bit earlier to implement a daily practice for your mornings that will set your day for success and allow you to focus on what’s truly important—you!
The Miracle Morning combines the six best morning practices, which Hal refers to as the SAVERS—Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading and Scribing. Since implementing this daily practice into my morning routine I have been able to transform my life, it allows me to quiet the noise, set my intentions for the day and focus on achieving the goals I have set out for myself.
But Courtney, I don’t have the time—I get it, I didn’t think I did either! Taking that extra hour in the mornings to make yourself a priority will have you feeling energized with a clear mind to tackle whatever the day throws at you; boosting your productivity and giving you more time to serve the ones counting on you.
In order to optimize my time as I have a very busy schedule—yes, even in quarantine!—I combine some of the practices. One of my favorite forms of self-care is yoga, combining meditation with exercise. Whether you’re an experienced yogi or new to the practice, I highly recommend checking out Yoga With Adriene!
Another way I combine practices is by doing my affirmations and visualization in the shower, then listening to a podcast or audio book while I finish getting ready for my day. The other morning I sewed my other half’s sweatshirt while listening to the Achieve Your Goals Podcast—I find sewing rather relaxing and it has been on my to-do list for months!
Find ways that you can do the things you enjoy and maybe knock something off your never ending to-do list in the process. There is always time for self-care, you just have to make it and keep it as a priority!
Remember, taking time for ourselves isn’t selfish. It is a necessity to prevent us from wearing ourselves down to the point of exhaustion causing us to be frustrated, grumpy, irritable and maybe even resentful!
I challenge you to adopt a morning practice, whatever yours may look like to implement self-care into your daily routine—I’ve even written your first affirmation!
My time for self-care is nonnegotiable. I will make myself a priority by waking up an hour earlier every day to practice my miracle morning and in doing so I will be able to better serve others.
Meet Courtney
“It is my mission to help other women in recovery become the best version of themselves they can be!”
