A day in the life of a sober bartender

To say I live an alcohol-free life would be a lie. I am surrounded by alcohol almost every day and have been for most of my sobriety. It wasn't until recently that it dawned on me that I wasn't living an alcohol-free life as I had been proclaiming, but rather I was living a life free from alcohol!

There is a big difference here.

Throughout my journey I have put myself in situations that undeniably could have put my sobriety at risk. Who would trust a sober bartender anyway! "I don't know how you do it!" was a reoccurring topic of discussion and I would always jokingly reply with something along the lines of "I get to witness why I don't drink just about everyday!" Which there was some truth to that, but honestly there were days where I didn't know how I did it either and those are the days that I relied heavily on my community of support!

Not many people can text their boss saying "I just can't do it today" and get an understanding response that they will cover their shift, or message a co-worker asking them to come in because "I just can't be here right now." and without hesitation they would. Moments where I absolutely couldn't be there didn't happen often, but when they did I had people I could count on to help me through it. I was fortunate enough to work in an environment that supported my sobriety even when that exact environment could have put my sobriety at risk!

Know your limits.

It has been almost a year since I've been behind the bar, but I still spend a fair amount of time in them as I still enjoy the bar-games that are usually accompanied by alcohol. When I first started shooting in pool leagues there was no way I could do it sober, my team almost always had a beer and a shot waiting for me and part of me actually believed that the more I drank, the better I shot! Do I still get nervous? Absolutely! But I've surrounded myself by people who support me and remind me that I am a good shot and that I got this!

Not everyone has been supportive of me and my sobriety. I've had to distance myself from those who have triggered the emotions that lead me to drink and from those that didn't understand my sobriety and ridiculed me for it. I've had people judge me for "thinking I'm better than them" when that couldn't be further from the truth.

Find strength in community.

I find myself staring into the eyes of my demons just about every day, but in no way am I saying that you too should surround yourself by your vice when you're trying to remain sober. What I am saying is to surround yourself with people who love and support you, your sobriety and your dreams. Know your limits and remove or distance yourself from toxic relationships.

No one is harder on me than me. To this day I am notorious for being harder on myself than I should be. More often than not, when I find myself in situations where I am beating myself up, emotionally that is, for something that is beyond my control. So give yourself some grace, change the things you can, let go of what you can't and do what you have to do to continue to move forward!

Set yourself free.

“I’m not telling you it is going to be easy, I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” — Anonymous